Rediscovering Eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am Yours
dailies
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Randoms Thoughts
-3:12 PM
I'm sitting at home, infront of a computer, wondering what I wanna do, reflecting upon the past, pondering about the present, thinking about the future. Suddenly I realise that I'm going to be 23 this year. Time is really passing by quickly and very soon I'll have to return to China and be stuck there for one or one and a half years..maybe even more, I dont know. Career-wise, it will be best if I can stay in China I know, otherwise I'll return only as a GP. Even as a GP, in China, I would be able to see more cases and increase my knowledge of diseases. I dont wanna be a GP that only sees patients with cough or flu as some practitioners in Singapore and be fighting some nonsensical red-tapes the whole day. Some of my friends have given up along the way while others realise that this is somehow, just not their cup of tea. Honestly, the thing I really would love to do a lifetime is just to play my piano but I know that in Singapore and having not practised for close to 5 months, that can just be a hobby that i can pursue. Being in the medical field is 2nd of my list of career options but the way NTU-BUCM have structured the programme..seriously, its sucking the life out of all of us and making us all feel as if we are just stuck somewhere without an outlet..
I've to go back in abt 3wks and i cant really find words to describe how i feel..not that anyone would understand anyway. Over there, I cant just make a phonecall and ask my friend(s) to go out and chill; I cant stay out late; I cant shout when frustrated; I cant talk to locals without considering the fact that they may try to con me; I cant be myself..In Singapore, when I am sitting alone in my house or anywhere, I enjoy the still silence. I maybe bored but its ok. Overthere,the loneliness really eats in and the emo side of me just takes over but life still goes on, I'm so busy that I get caught up with the doing rather than take a break to find back myself.
I had planned to do a million and one things when I'm came back to Singapore but I think the lazyness is setting in and apart from meeting friends which is really fun,I dont wanna do anything else. Hmm..but I think I should start some planning to make full use of my wks left cos my friends are busy and cant accompany all the time...
