Rediscovering Eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am Yours
dailies
Monday, November 24, 2008
香山-250908
-6:41 PM
This day, I woke up the earliest I've ever done so since I reached Beijing-415am. Most of my friends going to 香山 also woke up around the same time cos all of us wanted to catch the first train at 545am. And yes, we need to wake up so fringging early cos the walk to the train station isnt exactly near. When we reached 西直门station, or o i think its that station, we took another bus to the location itself and the bus ride took one and a half hours I think cos all of us had a good deep sleep save for the occasional cold wind that woke us up.
We were there to catch the 红叶 cos its already late autumn, but the mountains dont look too red right? The reports say that it is only ~43% red.
There were many people from the class but this was the group I was with, or at least was with, at the start. (I seem to have a problem keeping up with the group cos I'll find something nice and wander off to take pictures.)
I thought I saw XZ's white jacket infront so I wasnt too worried, until I reached a fork and I didn know which way to walk, did i call Feng U and asked where they were. It turned out that I had walked ahead of them instead. When i finally joined the group at 清翠湖, (cos we missed each other on my way down again), XZ was like "You, stand next to me!" haha and she permanently became my nanny for the trip. I'm quite amused by her antics and she is quite amused by my blur-ness.
My fav picture but I really should have taken the bridge too. Anyway, the pond which had orange-red maple leaves had the reflection of the maple tree too!
Revealing God's Creation.
Polar Bear and Teddy Bear.
Ignore whatever I was doing (i was pointing to some cricket). The little 歌诀 is quite interesting.
2040
The leaves of one tree were golden yellow under the sun's ray while the other was still green.
YT trying to imitate Mao Zhu Xi.
This was the start of my group's very exciting adventure. Instead of walking the normal man-made pavement, we decided to climb up this steep thingy to take photo..yes climb..on all fours. Feng U refused to climb up and so was our photographer. But when we were up there, we realised we couldnt come down and so Feng U had to climb up with us. It was really a dangerous climb, one that my mum would probably scold me for climbing cos if i miss my foothold..hmm. So the five of us (the clique shrank cos the original one was too big and they wanted to go the other direction at the fork earlier..we overheard the ranger said that the direction we went had more red leaves and so we decided to take that route.)
The view when we finally climbed up that steep thingy..and no, it isnt the top of 香山 yet. (Actually there are many tops because 香山 is a range of hills/mountains. Its really just hills though the climb up looked as if we were climbing a mountain.
And we continue climbing upwards, ducking as leaves and branches came in our way, and walking in a single file when the road became too narrow. And we pasted ourselves against the wall when the PRCs who climbed up too wanted to move faster.
I love the blue sky!
Orange-red leaves against the blue sky!
Part of our track.
Red leaf.
We finally hit the pavement road again and climbed this whole flightSSSS of stairs (I felt that it was National Vertical Marathon all over again) before we decided that we should stop for lunch.
Our picnic! YT and CY had the egg mayo with them but YF who had the bread and was suppose to share the egg mayo with them, was with the other group. I had my whole loaf of bread with me, so in the end, we split the bread and egg mayo and cucumber and tomato amongst the five of us. Super yummy! The wind was really strong though! I should have worn a cap or something.
Then we continued our climb and finally met the other group. They were coming from the opposite direction! XZ and I really wanted to take the super swingy cable car ride down the mountain, NOT because we were tired but cos the wind was super strong and the cable car would be swinging in the wind...CY took such a ride before and she said that though its an experience that everyone should have, er...she rather walk down. Hee.
In the end, we decided to walk down because the ride was 60RMB and i felt that it was on a bit too ex. We went pass stalls selling food, so we bought food and shared. On the way down the pavement road, all of us were getting a bit bored. The climb earlier was really exciting cos there were red leaves growing in the wild, in areas with lesser tramplings from Man and the fact tt we could slip and fall, made us all the more careful. The pavement road down had way too many people and it was boring to be just walking down steps. In the end, we ventured off into the mud-path again. hee. The locals were commenting on why we were taking the mud-path rather than the conventional pavements.
The view from one of our mud-paths.
Our climb down.
One of the pavilions we saw.
Me on one of the stones.
On our way down another mud-path, we came along this little brook and a whole family of squirrels..look like those i saw in the Zoo before i came to BJ. I couldnt take a photo of them cos they were moving really quickly.
We came along quite a few stones which had chinese characters engraved on them. Some of the stones were destroyed by the force which attacked China. Oh btw, there was also an area inside 香山 where Mao Ze Dong stayed too..hmm..it seems as if he stayed in several places of interests..hmm.
We met other people from the class at the exit and all of us had to squeeze with the rest of the world along the streets towards the bus stop. My goodness! The crowd at Orchard road is really nothing compared to the crowd in BJ. BJ really have some nice scenic places but the rudeness of the citizens..i'm like..argh! Like if you dont force your way through, you'll nv get on the bus cos the ppl here, they rush for the bus and step on your shoes. My friend's foot got caught as the bus closed the door, and the people on the bus were just scolding her for not moving in, oblivous to the fact that she is stuck. My other friends who were erm..more polite..didnt make it onto the bus with the rest of us. The bus ride was another one and a half to two hours journey to the train station. My legs were seriously going to give way. Thank God this couple stood up and XQ pushed me to the seat and sat on the ledge next to me. I slept all the way back to the train station, I almost missed the bus stop.
Thereafter, YT, CY, YQ,YC and I went to eat at the Food Republic at a mall owned by Capital Land. We were so excited to find Food Republic but were disappointed when we failed to find our char kway tiao.
All of us shared this Ice-kachang. It costs 18RMB which is expensive by local standards but it taste super good! Finally..
My duck meat and char siew rice. It doesn taste like the one in Singapore. :(
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The day I didnt go to church..
-11:48 PM
I woke up this morning at unearthly 6am to study. The plan was to study for 2 hours and leave the hours at 850am for church. However, within 15 minutes of studying, the wordsin my left direction started to look like streams of water. Its not my left eye. Its both eyes when i look to the left, the words blur in front of me but when the look to the right, the words are all right. Hmm..is there something wrong with my right hemisphere? Hope not..
I went back to sleep cause I didnt see any purpose in studying anymore. Couldnt slp well too..kept tossing and turning til it was 815am. I woke up feeling better but I decided not to go for service lest I faint again. I felt lost and didnt know what to do and I didnt feel like studying. So i did my househould chores, prepared breakfast and turned on my Christian music so that the house will not sound so quiet. The housemate had already left for church by the way.
The song 爱,何等奇妙 came on and scenes of me waiting for the bus 945 at the bus stop opp Bukit Gombak MRT station came into my mind cos my soundtrack seem to always reach this stop when I am waiting for the bus. The song reflected how I felt throughout this whole week and gave me so much assurance that God will be with me, accompanying me that I teared..cried..no..I actually wailed..
I actually missed home a lot this past week cause things are pretty quiet here, a little too quiet for my liking and I was beginning to feel lonely..a/c to TCM, that, i.e. emotions, could have been one of the reasons for my dizzy spells too. THe wailing actually helped cos I felt better-I didnt feel so homesick and I didnt feel light-headed anymore. The only thing was I felt really tired, as if I have not slpt for the past few days.
Studied or tried to study throughout the day. My lunch:
Dumplings that I got from Dasao yesterday. Thank God she gave me this otherwise, I'll probably just eat bread cos I'm too lazy and tired to cook.
豆沙Dumplings. Its nice and sweet!
In the evening, YY and SB came over to cook dinner for me! They were worried that one, I may faint and two, I may not be able to cook even porridge for myself. At first I was really paiseh cos they dont live in my estate and coming over in this cold weather is quite torturous. Still they came with their macaroni and pot of chicken soup.
YY busy cooking (or rather, just holding the ladle :P) and SB, ever-ready to pose for the camera.
Macaroni Chicken soup!
Mine! Drumstick!!! Havent had a home-cook drumstick since I came over.
Dessert. SB has ears made of Green Apple and Cocktail 果冻. The 3 of us shared the green apple one.
Me and my unglam specs. Taken by THEM when we are supposed to be STUDYING. We were running around in the house, no, I was chasing after them to get my photo back..they had taken an even more unglam shot of me using SB's hp. Tsk.
I was really really happy and touched* to see them today. Felt really 温馨. They said I looked pale though..hmm..hope I get well soon.
Sidenote: There was a puma sale at Solaris, a shopping centre next to church. ARGH! Like YY got a shirt for just 79RMB!!! Sigh. But nvm..rest more impt.
***
I've learned a great deal within this 2 months about myself.
I never thought I would miss home so much..
I thought I was always a carefree person who loved to travel the world and who never wanted to stay at home...
Maybe I was such a person but I've changed in certain aspects..I still love travelling but..
Studying in a foreign country has taught me to value family and friends, people whom one tend to take for granted..
God has to always remind me to depend on Him.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Happy 5th month =P.
-10:04 PM
I had 推拿见习 this morning and guess what happened? I fainted. Its my 2nd time I've fainted in my whole life..first time was in Pri 2 during assembly. THe teacher thought that I had fainted because I was afraid of needles..but that isnt true! I had felt that the room was really stuffy..all the windows and the doors were closed and the heater was on and i was standing in front of the heater, with one layer of long johns, sweater, jeans, and my white coat and boots.
It all happened within 10secs? I felt that I was losing my vision, everything was becoming grey (the room wasnt spinning though),then i began to see small white spots and I knew i was going to faint soon. I quickly turned to Amanda and told her and she held onto me and asked if i was okay. Everyone heard her and realise I was fainting, or rather, had fainted. I made it to the bed before everything turned black. Laid down and the moment i did so, my vision came back again. I wanted to sit up and see what the doc was doing but my friends told me go lie back down. After 2 mins, I got up again cos i wanted to see the patient's X-ray slides. THe doctor asked if I had low BP or blood sugar level but I dont. I laid down again after 10 mins cos i felt dizzy again.
THis time the doc came and took my pulse and asked if I had any history of fainting which I dont. He couldnt feel my pulse though he touched my whole hand to find out if I had those Xie2 Fei1 Mai4 which is at a different location from majority of the people. When he realise i didnt have a pulse, he touched my neck and pressed a few acu-points and they were painful. I didnt react or give any form of indication that it was painful cos i didn want him to 扳 my head. 扳 means to move one's part of the body to its maximum and then give it another tug to loosen that area of the body. No way did i want that on my neck. But to my dismay, he knew that there was something wrong with my neck and did so anyway. THe seconds towards the 扳 was traumatising cause I knew he was going to do it cos he was preparing my neck and getting into momentum and there was nothing I could do about it. My whole body stiffened momentarily. He did so when I was least prepared that I got a shock and gave a yelp, had tears rolling down my cheeks and was hyper-ventilating a little. It wasn painful but the shock was... When he pulled my neck, I felt that my whole spinal cord actually moved upwards. And I knew he had to pull my head in the other direction to balance up and my whole body stiffened though everyone told me to relax. I gave a yelp and had tears too when he did it again. He is quite good though...very fast and actually my neck felt better after everything.
Apparently, i have a slightly crooked spinal cord at the neck area..most people probably have it nowadays..and that suppressed part of a blood vessel and thus reduced the blood flow to my brain. I was quite shock to hear that cos from young, my spine has been ok..most ppl say i walk with a straight back..the only person tt din think so was my dad cos he has seen my posture when i study and its not too good. Oh wells..should have listened..now how? =(.I didn realise tt when i tilt my head towards the left, i felt resistance and I've nv noticed tt before when I did PE in JC. This prob build up in Uni where I did minimal exercise and maximal study because of my coursework. Sigh..THe doc got me to go walk around for a while before joining the group again. He stills think I am afraid of needles though..-.-..and like I've seen a caesarian and spinal cord surgery can..
I tried to tilt my head to the left for 15 mins in an attempt to try to correct the spinal cord and everyone laughed. Spinal cords are not corrected this way. Oh wells, i really hope my spinal cord becomes straight again..I dunno how..but i pray it happens..I dun wanna faint on the road..
Today is my 5th month with N. Yay! Both our birthdays are in Nov. Hee. I thank God for placing him in my life and supporting me in many ways esp now when I am in this foreign land and having to cope with many issues. I thank him for tolerating my nonsense too..heez..Couldn't have made it without you dear..=)
Sunday, November 02, 2008
-1:45 AM
The days after Xi'an, leading up to the exams were so stressful, I seriously thought my head would burst. I was really worried because while I was away in Xi'an, other people have been mugging at home. Given the amount of work to digest for the exams, I began to regret going to Xi'an. Yet, every week, the Lord to tell me not to worry.
THe night before the first paper, i.e.16th Oct,aka my bro's birthday, I did not feel like studying and so I started surfing the internet. The next day, when I did the paper, which was on X-线 and 实验诊断, I either did not know the answers or were unsure of the answers. The fill-in the blanks was a killer cos i could answer one out of ten for X-rays and be certain that that was correct. By the way, our paper is structured with 50marks on X-线 and 50marks on 实验诊断. THe latter was ok to me but the X-rays was like..-.- There was this 6 marks question with the answer just being a one-liner..I had just memorised that part the day before but i totally could not recall what i had read. After the paper, i did not feel too upset actually, which is actually a good thing because I do not want to affect my next paper. So I went to Carrefour to stock up on food for the next 5 days because apart from going to church, I intended to stay at home. But after a while, i got upset over my paper and got N to call me.
The next paper was on 症状诊断，体检诊断，心电图。The number of pages to read is actually a whole lot more than the first, but I felt that I could understand and remember the stuff I read better this time. THe attachments really helped a lot. This paper was on the 22nd and it went quite smoothly. I made silly mistakes, careless mistakes of course..but overall, still all right.
Actually, these 2 papers with all the various sections are under one module-诊断学基础 (Western Med) and it gives a total of 200 marks, which will be scaled down to 100 marks. We need 60 marks to pass this exam and 68 marks in average for our core modules to get the bachelor degree. Many of us were wondering if we would fail and were asking when we could re-take the exam. This exam made me realise that Western Medicine should be done in English and Chinese Medicine should be done in Chinese because when it comes to terminology, language matters.
I went to JL's house for dinner that night and it was such a nice family meal. THere were 8 of us, with 5 dishes (Gong bao ji ding, lamb's marrow, tanghoon with mushrooms and tomatoes, broccoli with mushrooms, egg with prawn). We were laughing and talking about 2 ang mohs (aka Spiderman and Batman) they saw at the police station-we were doing a poll to decide who is more handsome. K did her banana dance which was really hilarious. Chatted with JL for a while before taking a tuk tuk home. I had wanted to walk home but JL and SB made sure i took the tuk tuk cos the weather conditions were really bad, like the rain was super heavy and the temperature was really low, and not forgetting the merciless wind. I was glad I took a tuk tuk.
On 25th Oct, I went to PJ's house for dinner. Ha..I get free dinner again. Yay! Before that, I was pia-ing my 病例报告 in school. I had written a draft at home but i didnt dare write on the actual paper provided by the hospital because one, you can only make a maximum of 3 mistakes in every 报告; two, you can use liquid paper or anything equivalent to that; three, there are alignments to be followed; four, you got to re-write if you dont follow the above 3 rules. I re-wrote once in school and that was uber sian diao cos each 报告is around 3 pages long and you got to string up the patient's conditions in proper medical terminology into statements. Most of us left the last section out cause there was simply too much to write and there was not enough time.
After that, Feng U and i went to find Walmart cause D had told me there was one in the area. We combed the entire 蒲黄俞 area but could not find it. In the end, we gave up and went to 物美 and then Carrefour and then went to Feng U's and PJ's house for dinner. PJ was cooking. There were eggs with prawns, dumplings and xiao bai cai soup, cauliflower with hei mu er, lemon chicken. We watched a Hong Kong show while eating..i was so engrossed i didnt want to go home. hee. In the end, Feng U walked me home.
