Rediscovering Eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
I am Yours
dailies
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The day I didnt go to church..
-11:48 PM
I woke up this morning at unearthly 6am to study. The plan was to study for 2 hours and leave the hours at 850am for church. However, within 15 minutes of studying, the wordsin my left direction started to look like streams of water. Its not my left eye. Its both eyes when i look to the left, the words blur in front of me but when the look to the right, the words are all right. Hmm..is there something wrong with my right hemisphere? Hope not..
I went back to sleep cause I didnt see any purpose in studying anymore. Couldnt slp well too..kept tossing and turning til it was 815am. I woke up feeling better but I decided not to go for service lest I faint again. I felt lost and didnt know what to do and I didnt feel like studying. So i did my househould chores, prepared breakfast and turned on my Christian music so that the house will not sound so quiet. The housemate had already left for church by the way.
The song 爱,何等奇妙 came on and scenes of me waiting for the bus 945 at the bus stop opp Bukit Gombak MRT station came into my mind cos my soundtrack seem to always reach this stop when I am waiting for the bus. The song reflected how I felt throughout this whole week and gave me so much assurance that God will be with me, accompanying me that I teared..cried..no..I actually wailed..
I actually missed home a lot this past week cause things are pretty quiet here, a little too quiet for my liking and I was beginning to feel lonely..a/c to TCM, that, i.e. emotions, could have been one of the reasons for my dizzy spells too. THe wailing actually helped cos I felt better-I didnt feel so homesick and I didnt feel light-headed anymore. The only thing was I felt really tired, as if I have not slpt for the past few days.
Studied or tried to study throughout the day. My lunch:
Dumplings that I got from Dasao yesterday. Thank God she gave me this otherwise, I'll probably just eat bread cos I'm too lazy and tired to cook.
豆沙Dumplings. Its nice and sweet!
In the evening, YY and SB came over to cook dinner for me! They were worried that one, I may faint and two, I may not be able to cook even porridge for myself. At first I was really paiseh cos they dont live in my estate and coming over in this cold weather is quite torturous. Still they came with their macaroni and pot of chicken soup.
YY busy cooking (or rather, just holding the ladle :P) and SB, ever-ready to pose for the camera.
Macaroni Chicken soup!
Mine! Drumstick!!! Havent had a home-cook drumstick since I came over.
Dessert. SB has ears made of Green Apple and Cocktail 果冻. The 3 of us shared the green apple one.
Me and my unglam specs. Taken by THEM when we are supposed to be STUDYING. We were running around in the house, no, I was chasing after them to get my photo back..they had taken an even more unglam shot of me using SB's hp. Tsk.
I was really really happy and touched* to see them today. Felt really 温馨. They said I looked pale though..hmm..hope I get well soon.
Sidenote: There was a puma sale at Solaris, a shopping centre next to church. ARGH! Like YY got a shirt for just 79RMB!!! Sigh. But nvm..rest more impt.
***
I've learned a great deal within this 2 months about myself.
I never thought I would miss home so much..
I thought I was always a carefree person who loved to travel the world and who never wanted to stay at home...
Maybe I was such a person but I've changed in certain aspects..I still love travelling but..
Studying in a foreign country has taught me to value family and friends, people whom one tend to take for granted..
God has to always remind me to depend on Him.
